Letting Go of Anxiety

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I tend to always feel guilty about something. If I go out, I feel guilty for wasting money or drinking, and if I stay in, I feel guilty for being lazy and wasting my time doing nothing. If I spend my life travelling, I feel guilty for not having a 'real job'. But if I got a 'real job', I'd feel guilty for wasting my youth and not seeing the world. I'm always worried about wasting time.

And for me it's always been about time. Obsessing over the dates of things, how long they've gone on for, how long I've got to go. I struggle to let go and just be present in the moment.

But the irony is, spending all this time worrying about wasting time, is wasting time.

I don't want to look back on my life and see someone who didn't do everything she wanted because of anxiety. I'm actually not that person.

Hindsight's a beautiful thing, and I know I would have enjoyed the first half of my East Coast trip more if I'd have stuck to this philosophy. (Not that I didn't enjoy it- I just was in my head a lot!)

So, no more wasting time.

Whether I'm out in the world doing everything I want (once everything opens again), or sitting at home chilling; whether I'm lazing about or exercising lots, I'm going to do it mindfully and without guilt. And I'm not going to let the anxious thoughts take over my days.

I have a new burst of energy to be the best version of myself. To use all this free time and alone time I have to better myself in ways I didn't know I could on this trip. In practicality, this means exercising more, meditating, spending less time being anxious and comparing on social media, and getting out and seeing more of Queensland where I can*. Looking after myself more.

Maybe I've realised this too late, but I don't think there's such a thing as too late. I've realised it now, so now is the time for change.



*we can go 50km away from home now, and from Friday, 150km!

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