Living nightmare vs. Living the dream

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Instagram always sugar coats everything- a highlight reel won't show the bad parts.
When I'm having fun I'm having the time of my life, but when it rains it pours. (A very fitting analogy for the recent climate here.)

If I'm honest, life is pretty tough at the moment.

I'm 26 days away from completing my 88 on the farm, and it's never felt further away.
Bad weather and huge storms recently mean that my work has been rained off for days on end and it's very difficult to find other work.
This in turn means that the more work gets cancelled, the later I'll be able to finish my days. It's really disheartening when we're so desperate to get out of here and get back to what we really came for- travelling and spending quality time in this beautiful country. The frustration just seems like make the time go even slower.

It has been, and will continue to be, such a huge test in perserverance and being optimistic.

Work itself can be quite chill to be fair, if I'm in a packing shed and/or have a good team of people getting me through the day.
But other times, it's a living hell. Being out on the fields is particularly hard, or on days where the work is just so monotonous and dull and you're just left with nothing but your thoughts dragging you through the day. Overthinking is a hugely common issue for us farmworkers, and if left unchecked you can work yourself up into quite a state by letting your thoughts get out of control.

I feel like I have a breakdown every week, as being so exhausted and stressing over work gets too much all too often. Thank god for the good friends that I have here, because it's true that the people you're around really do get you through it.
It's very up and down- I feel the lowest of lows and the highest of highs all within one day. I can't really even explain this other than farm work just gets to you.

To add further insult to injury, so many people are leaving all the time. Over the past few weeks the caravan park has gone from full to almost empty, as more and more of our close friends leave. It's so hard to say goodbye to people; that was always one of the worst parts of travelling.
But I'm so happy for them (if a little jealous) for completing their days and getting to finally reap the benefits of it! And, as I always say: to paraphrase Winnie the pooh, how lucky we are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. I know I'll see them again one day!
As much as work during the week is a nightmare, I feel now in my spare time I can live my dream.
We generally go away somewhere every weekend (staying in Gatton just doesn't really cut it most of the time), and we are lucky to be situated where we are as it's not too far to drive to Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, Noosa, and even Byron Bay.
Last weekend in Brissy for the night

It's these times that I can take the van out and get a little taste of the road trip that I'd much rather be on.
Seeing stunning beaches, partying with so many incredible people, and treating ourselves to nice food on the weekends is a far cry from the monotonous, muddy weekdays.

Getting to dream about our upcoming road trip makes it all a bit easier too. Me and Keiran can't wait to spend some more time in Byron Bay, then slowly make our way down all the little coastal towns down the East Coast before making it to Sydney once again.

I've also been slowly doing bits and pieces to the van in preparation for our trip. I painted it the other day and I'm so pleased with how it looks! I'm finding myself stressing out a bit over all the little things I want to do to the van before we leave, but at least it's something else to occupy my mind other than farm work.

At the end of the day, we all just have to remind ourselves why we are doing it. I'm working towards my dream of staying in Australia, and once I get that 2nd year visa it will all be worth it.
Plus, I know I'll look back on this time fondly and be beyond proud of myself for what I've achieved.

We've come so far, but it's not over yet and there's still so much more to overcome.

Shepp x

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